Remember when
your cousin ate so many marshmallows he crapped all the colours of the rainbow
for three days straight, and your mother never again purchased those light
fluffy slices of cloud in fear of creating another poop-induced epidemic?
"Chubby Bunny" was a household favourite. |
Sometimes the
decisions and reputation of one person or thing can ruin it for the rest of us.
Hostels are no exception to this rule, only instead of a bad case of the shits
you have fear mongering over rapists and thieves. Yet in all my experience
staying in hostels across Canada
I’ve never once felt like I was in danger of losing my butt virginity to a
crazed train-hopper. Quite the opposite, in fact.
I willingly choose
hostelling for a few important reasons, all of which add to the experience of
traveling someplace in a very positive way. We hold certain expectations of who
the general hostel-goer is and what they do, but the fact of the matter is that
people of all walks of life – young, old, non-Canadian, wizards, mimes,
couples, Treebeard from LOTR - end up in hostels, which only adds to the
uniqueness of the space (although some of those things may only appear when
using hallucinogenic drugs).
Still
unconvinced? Read ahead: 5 reasons why hostelling is superior.
1) Why do I have so much
money?
The 'deluxe double room' at beautiful 'La Maison du Patriote' in Montreal; $64/Night for two. |
Hostels save
whatever small pieces of dignity still exist within that pitiful reserve you
call a bank account. If budget traveling is your thing, hostels are the climax
of low-cost orgasms. A bed in a dorm usually ranges from $20 – $28, depending
on the facilities, but the option to rent a private room is available at many
locations. The price range is, of course, higher and wider, but still very
cheap when compared to the deep gouging Holiday Inn across the street. This
means you can bring a ‘special friend’ along without it forcing you on food
stamps for the following year.
The overwhelming
savings can thus also be used for more fun shit during your trip. This may
leave you feeling liberated and free from the shackles of financial worries.
Yes, the hills are alive with the sound of loose change weighing down your
trousers.
2) Awesome people. Awesome
people everywhere.
You’re an
awesome person. That’s no secret, but, as Big Daddy Kane thoroughly explains,
‘Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy’. In order to keep your street cred at a satisfactory
level, you’ll need to network between other awesome people to keep a diverse
gangtsa portfolio. Luckily for you, hostels are a mecca of unique individuals
from all over the world, and they’re anxiously awaiting your complicated
handshake of straight thug brotherhood.
Hostels attract
more than just old waspy couples from the ‘burbs because it’s not just an
accommodation – it’s an opportunity to make new friends and experience new
things. They are a gateway into the community and keep you connected to other
folks who are visiting. Get ready for a Facebook friends list that will be
admired by all.
3) The hardest part is saying
goodbye.
A private cabin at the unforgettable Dawson City River Hostel - Canada's Northernmost hostel |
If hotels are
the epitome of ultra-rational segregated mindless confinement (and let’s face
it….they kinda are), hostels are a
different spectrum of colorful, welcoming warmth that are community-oriented
and intentionally supportive. The experience of traveling somewhere can be
rewarding, but also quite isolating if you’re far from home. You may feel like
an outsider and completely unadjusted to a new place and way of life. If only
you could find a place that feels more familiar.…more
acknowledging of your situation.
BAM. Now you’re
in a FUCKING HOSTEL and shit just took a turn for the helpful. Hostels are in
themselves micro-communities designed for optimum fun during your stay. They
are well connected to the surrounding area and are invested in your experience,
often helping you find the ‘hidden gems’ that make a trip worthwhile. Allow
yourself to be absorbed into a hostel community and in turn reap the benefits
of unlimited hook-ups.
4) Customer care: you’re
doing it right.
Oftentimes
hostels will employ people who are in your boat: travelers, wanderers,
adventure-seeking individuals who are passionate about being on the road and
actually want you to take something
away from all of this. They’ll tell you about local deals, the best places to
eat, amazing best kept secrets and the things/places/people that can rip you
off so hard it will leave a nasty rash.
Behind this
solid advice is a person who has insider knowledge and wishes to share their
sound judgment. Being able to rely on well-informed people that are hired for
you to gratuitously take advantage of is just another perk of hostel life.
5) There’s so much room for
activities.
So by now I’ll
assume your next trip will involve a hostel. If this article wasn’t convincing
enough to you, that’s just fine….I know that silly “O.J Simpson” trial you
juried for was also a huge hoax, as was the so called ‘evidence’ of political
prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. Hosteling must be another sham created by the
corporate machine to turn us into robots or something.
The Nanaimo International Hostel - more of a house than a hostel - in central Nanaimo |
For those of you
who aren’t wearing tinfoil hats, be glad that hostels usually offer ‘member benefits’
that allow its patrons to do amazing stuff at discounted prices. Rollbacks on
transportation, museums, eateries and tours are to name a few. And don’t forget
the endless amount of activities that can happen inside a hostel, such as jam sessions, bingo nights, concerts and
drink-offs that are easy on the pocketbook and heavy on the friend-making fun-ness.
Next time you’re
planning a getaway, be a champ and stay at a hostel. It’s only the coolest
thing that all the cool people are doing.
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